Burning Coals

"When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, 'Bring some of the fish that you have just caught... Come and have breakfast.'"

- John 21:9-10, 12

When I was kid my family used to take trips to Northern Michigan every year. It was a welcomed change of pace, a time to connect with one another as a family, and some of my favorite memories from that time are sitting around a bonfire, sharing stories, smores, and looking up at the stars. There is just something basic and essential to the human experience in gathering around a fire. And it is that experience that captures my attention in this text.

In this story from John's Gospel, Jesus has been crucified, and has resurrected. At some point after the resurrection, the disciples choose to go out fishing. They go at night, working all through the night but they labor in vain. They don't catch a single fish. These skilled fishermen have run out of luck. Nothing works.
As the dawn breaks, the disciples notice a man standing on the shore who calls out to them, "Haven't you caught anything?"
One might think the disciples would respond sarcastically to this seeming taunt. But they simply say "No."
So Jesus tells them, throw your nets on the other side. When they do, their nets are so full that they can barely haul the fish in.
It begins to dawn on them who they're dealing with, so they make their way to shore.
When they land they find Jesus standing next to a charcoal fire, with fish and bread already cooking on it. So Jesus invites them to add what they've just caught and join him for breakfast.

So often in reading this scripture I've jumped directly into thoughts about resurrection, or the disciple's weird inability to catch any fish despite being fishermen by trade. But as I read this text again, I'm drawn to the charcoal fire, the burning coals and the invitation, "come and have breakfast."

More than anything I'm curious about the one detail present in this fire that makes it so special. In Greek, this fire is called ἀνθρακιά (anthrakia), which means "burning coals." It's a word used twice in the New Testament, both times in John's Gospel. It's different from any other fire, it specifically identifies a charcoal fire, made from wood. Here's what draws me in with this word:

The fire that Jesus creates for his disciples takes time to prepare.

The process of making charcoal out of wood is an ancient practice that dates back at least 30,000 years. It's a process that can take days but transforms the wood into nearly pure carbon. The result of this labor is a product that burns hotter, longer, more evenly, with less smoke, and fewer dangerous vapors than wood alone. In a sense, making a wood charcoal fire purifies the fire. But it takes time, skill and patience.

There can be moments in ministry where we might toil long through the night. Things we might otherwise assume we can do well produce no tangible results. But what if, even in those doubtful moments, even when we're looking at the end and are preparing to pack it in, Jesus has been working right along side us and we just haven't been able to perceive it yet?

To make this fire Jesus has to have been working at it for a while. Jesus has had to have worked through the night, keeping an eye on his disciples, laboring alongside them, anticipating where they'll be by morning. Jesus has been preparing for a feast. While the disciples believe they are stuck with nothing, in scarcity, Jesus plans for abundance.

I wonder if there is a lesson in patience here, in persistence, a call to wait for the dawn. Because even while we stumble along in the shadows of night, Jesus is anticipating a feast come dawn, and is actively making preparations for it.

As we enter into Lent, a season of preparation walking with Jesus toward the cross and in anticipation of resurrection at Easter, I will keep watch for the burning coals as I labor. I will trust that Jesus works alongside me, anticipating the conclusion to our shared labor and I will invite, just as I have been invited so many times before, to share in the bounty.

You see, the burning coals aren't just a minor detail, they show us Jesus' commitment to working with us, anticipating the fellowship to come, planning for a response of abundance.

A New Spirit

"They came to Capernaum, and on the Sabbath Jesus entered the synagogue and began to teach. The people were spellbound by the teaching, because Jesus taught with an authority that was unlike their religious scholars. Suddenly a person with an unclean spirit appeared in their synagogue. It shrieked, 'What do you want from us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are the Holy One of God!' Jesus rebuked the spirit sharply: 'Be quiet! Come out of that person!' At that the unclean spirit convulsed the possessed one violently, and with a loud shriek it came out. All who looked on were amazed. They began to ask one another, 'What is this? A new teaching, and with such authority! This person even gives orders to unclean spirits and they obey!' Immediately news of Jesus spread throughout the surrounding region of Galilee." - Mark 1:21-28

There is something about exorcism that has fascinated people for thousands of years. 
When I was growing up the one movie that my mother insisted that my brother and I never see was the 1973 film The Exorcist because it scared her so much. 
There have been plenty of exorcism themed films to come out since the original especially over the past decade.
To many of my friends, who were not very religious, one of the first questions that was on their mind after they find out that I was pursuing a life of ministry was “does this mean you’ll be doing exorcisms?” 
And really, that’s not an unfair question, 
especially when the first “work” that Jesus does in Mark’s Gospel is an exorcism. 
So if Christians are supposed to follow in the example of Christ, it makes sense that exorcism is something that I would do. 
However, as with most things, there are some stark differences between what's going on in our text and what pop culture has to say about exorcism.
Right before this passage in the Gospel of Mark, Jesus is finding disciples and telling them he will make them fishers of men.
Now the first thing that Jesus does after recruiting his first disciples is take them to a town called Capernaum along the shores of Galilee. This is probably a town that the disciples are familiar with. 
And Jesus, being the disciple's Rabbi, brings them to worship on the Sabbath. 
The text says that Jesus showed up in the synagogue to teach.
In order for Jesus to be able to teach in the synagogue he has to be recognized as a Rabbi by more than the disciples, but by the community. 
We know from the Gospel of Luke that Jesus spent some time in the temple in Jerusalem studying under the Rabbis. So perhaps the people in Capernaum already know this and recognize Jesus as someone who has authority as Rabbi. 
At the very least it's clear that Jesus already has some authority to be able to stand up and teach. 


And there's a lot that could be said about what Jesus does with that. 


The Gospel writer makes a huge point out of the authority of Jesus in this teaching moment. 
Now, I could say that the sole purpose behind this authority is for us, the readers, to understand Jesus as the Christ.
Which I think is entirely valid, but if we're reading through the Gospel of Mark like a narrative, 
like it was written, 
then we already know of Jesus' relationship to God when the heavens part at his baptism. 
One of the themes that the Gospel writer Mark is all about is this idea of who is in the know and who isn't. 
Who understands what's going on and who doesn't.
Some would say that the question that Mark keeps asking us is: "do you get it?"
But there is also something else going on in our text today.
The way that the Gospel writer has written this story is what some commentators call bracketing.
Mark uses bracketing to 
1) make a claim, 
2) interject some information and 
3) come back to that claim to show how the interjected information supports the claim.
In our text bracketing is used to give us the idea is that the person with an unclean spirit is meant to appear while Jesus is teaching.
So the crowd's reaction is not only to the words that Jesus speaks, but also to the effects that they have.


So lets look at our story again. 


Jesus and a couple disciples come to worship, 
Jesus gets up to preach, 
but Jesus isn't some ordinary preacher. 
When he speaks to the text, 
the people recognize something, 
they hear something that they haven't gotten from any of the scribes, or religious authorities who have worshiped with them before. 
Then in the middle of Jesus' teaching, 
there comes this person with an unclean spirit. 
Jesus uses his authority to call out the unclean spirit and the people are amazed.
 The idea of an unclean spirit tells us something a little different than we're used to hearing when we think about exorcism.
A central practice in Jewish faith in the first century is the notion of purity. 
Ritual purity, 
Spiritual purity,
Physical purity.
Being pure, is the lens through which the scriptures have been interpreted for the people with whom Jesus is worshiping, and the lens through which they interpret what and who is socially acceptable.
So for someone to have an unclean spirit, means that they would be entirely unaccepted.
The fact that this person is even in the synagogue would come as shock.
Due to the bracketed story telling that Mark is engaged in, it would be safe to say that this person is already among the worshipers.
No one really seems to acknowledge that there's an unclean spirit among them until the truth comes out.
If all of this has been to prove to the people that Jesus is the Christ, then their affliction seems like little more than God using them. 
Why should anyone be burdened with an unclean spirit?
Why should anyone be rejected based on purity?


I was in Ghana in 2008 as a part of a team that had been working with a group of women who had been rejected from their community because they carried HIV/AIDS. 
Many of them had been abandoned by their husbands and families, or were too ashamed to return home. 
At that time Sub-Saharan Africa accounted for over 70% of the world's total HIV/AIDS population. 
But in many countries, the stigma and lack of education can be far worse than even the terrible stuff that happens here in the States. 
They came together after their leader Hagar was left in the hospital by her family and Hagar began to notice that there were a lot of other women in her same situation. 
So Hagar brought them together and formed a group that they called "Women Living Positively with HIV/AIDS." 
They started out as a support group, they would survive as long as they could. 
But, as their group began to grow it became increasingly apparent that there was more they could do. 
So they reached out to my home church. 
They didn't want to just survive, they wanted to live. 
Eventually they got the idea to start up a business to generate revenue so they could buy medicine and provide for each other. 
They had pooled what little money they had and began working. 
They created fabrics and clothing, and they changed their name to First United Women because no one would buy their product if they were associated with HIV/AIDS. 
In order to keep the business running, they were going to need more funding then what they had. 
Part of the reason my group was there was to help facilitate a series of micro-loans and to provide a market in the states for them to sell more of their product. 
On the second to last night that we were in Ghana, we had invited our new business partners to celebrate with us at the small hotel we had been staying at in Kumasi. 
We got the music going, 
people were dancing, 
playing games, 
we had this big dinner, 
and other people began to notice. 
Some of the other folks staying at the hotel came out and began to party with us. 
Then the hotel staff slowly took up the invitation to join in. 
At the end of the night, after the First United Women had left, 
some of the staff approached our pastor and asked who all of those women were. 
They were asking because they had had a pretty good time and thought that they had made some new friends. 
So our pastor told them, and the look the staff had was utter confusion. 
Someone said "But they looked so... alive."

Dancing with and revealing the First United Women did the same thing for some of the hotel staff, as the exorcism did for the community in Capernaum. 
The problem is not with the person with the unclean spirit.
Jesus continually challenges the religious authorities who would claim that sickness and possessions are the fault and punishment of the sick and possessed.
I don't believe that, Jesus doesn't believe that.
What Jesus is doing is speaking truth to power.
By removing the unclean spirit Jesus frees the community to see one another in a new light.
Suddenly purity is less important if there is someone with the authority of God who can say that the impure is now pure.
In the understanding of the religious leaders, only the clean could come to God.
However, by the example of Jesus, God comes to the "unclean," bringing them into wholeness and life.


There is a commentary that looks at the sociological understanding of what Jesus has done here.
They say that in an honor & shame society, the shared information about one's status would be the basis upon which an individual would be judged.
So there are two big changes that happen in our text.
One is that Jesus of Nazareth, is elevated in status to someone who teaches with unique authority, the authority of God.
The other is that the person who was possessed, 
has been restored to their community.
I think there's also a third change that happens.
When Jesus removes the unclean spirit, he reveals the brokenness of the community.
The community, in coming to recognize the depth to which God desires for us to be whole,
to go out and be in the presence of the "unclean,"
to touch someone who is sick,
to love someone who doesn't look like you,
or think like you do,
the community becomes open to a new Spirit, to the new thing that God is doing.

When one of the hotel staff in Ghana had the revelation that the women he had met was alive,
God was at work,
calling out the "unclean spirit" and revealing the depths of God's love, that even a woman with HIV/AIDS can have life, 
be whole,
be worthy of love.
The work that Jesus is involved in with this exorcism is exactly that same work.
Jesus is calling out the unclean revealing to the Capernaum community that even the person they've tried to ignore can have life,
be whole,
be worthy of love.
And most importantly,
when they get that,
when we get that,
we become open to what the Spirit of God can do,
and we're made whole as well.
And if that is what exorcism is all about,
then I guess I would do that too.

Holocaust Service Learning Trip

Last year I went on a trip to Poland as a part of the Holocaust Studies Service Learning Program at Albion College. During the trip I wrote a journal to document some of the journey as well as record some of my thoughts about each day. It has taken me some time to get this journal posted because the trip itself had such a lasting impact on my life. Much of it was difficult to rewrite, because of the emotions that the story carried with it. It is my hope that you will learn from what I have written and maybe be moved to explore the Holocaust more yourself.
My fiance, Mallory, was talking to me the other day about something she saw at work and how that simple thing brought back a flood of memories from the trip and she couldn't help but think about the horrors of the Holocaust. We cannot see much of what is common place in our life the same. That trip and the education that came with it, changed us forever. Ignorance is not bliss, it is a curse upon the future of humanity. I pray that you will join me in longing to be changed, to have our eyes opened. I pray that the world would see the relationship we all share and that the "other" would be forever erased to become neighbor, friend, family, brother and sister.
To view my journal, look over to the right hand side of the page (blog archive) and click on May, 2009.

Prayers for the City

In the coming weeks, Motown Mission's website will be releasing an art project that is the symbol of all of the work our volunteers have been doing this summer. At the end of each week, we ask the groups to join into a collage of prayer. When they are all done, their prayers make up a house, a symbol of the work that they've done. On the site, we've compiled many of these prayers into a virtual collage.

Check it out here

Each prayer represents a hope for the future of the city, the individual, and the love that God brings to the world. Many have brought insight and inspiration to my life, and so I've compiled a few for you. The following is a look at some of my favorites:
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"Dear heavenly father, this trip has reminded me of why I became a part of this church. I know now that I can’t do it without you because I’ve tried and it never worked. Lord I thank you for this week, it really refreshed my faith. “when the world hates you, remember that it has hated me first"

"I pray that the hope we have ignited burns long after we leave... and the change in our hearts spreads awareness of those who need us to be God's hands and feet"

"Father, your children here are hurting. Let them feel your presence surround them and your love hold them. Give them the ability to hold onto hope of a future better than they have dreamed. Christ have mercy."

"Just Peace and Love."

"I pray for Detroit. I pray for all the lives we touched this week. But I also pray for the lives here we did not get the chance to touch. I pray that their lived will be touched soon. Changes are being made. I pray things keep changing. I pray for each child and parent we helped by making it safer. I pray for all the things that got done and also all those that didn't That they will be done soon. You are changing things. Thank you."

"Thank you for the unity of Spirit that took place with the team."

"Lord, pour out grace and healing upon Detroit."

"Holy Spirit, restore the city to its place of prosperity, that the glory of the Lord falls upon us. Lord break the spirit of poverty, fear and shame within its walls."

"Lord, use the Church to bring your light into the darkness."

"Thank you for this week. You have been doing so much in this city and love this city. Thank you for putting it on the hearts of those in charge to put on this trip so we can visibly see what difference one person can do. We were able to be your hands and feet, serving others. It didn't seem like much work for us - but to those living in the neighborhood it made a difference and brought hope. Thank you for Brick. For his sister and family - for the refreshment we were able to bring them in simply cleaning a yard. Let him know you through that. He saw you though us. Thank you that we were able to be You to him. Thank you for our group who came, for those who grew this week and know you more because of it. Let us not forget what we have learned and experienced this week."

"Lord, a house is broken, a house is in disrepair, a house is ugly. Your love, Your servants changed a house that's fixed, a house repaired, a house that is beautiful. Your love changed our hearts, your love changed the hearts of those with the house, Your love made a garden grow without weeds, your love made people happy and gave them hope."

"Here in Detroit there are wounds, deep cuts that are leaving deep scars. So even though I believe that we touched so many people in this week, all of the people need assistance not just a select few. So please God love these people and send them your strength, so it will help heal this city. This city is all so filled with hopeful people. Please give them courage. Love. Love. Love."

"Help us to remember that through you, we can be the hands and feet, the light and hope for a world in need. Give us the courage and strength to stand up to and fight injustice wherever we might find it."

"I pray people realize how beautiful the city of Detroit is already, and how wonderful it can be."

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace - let me be an answer to someone's prayers, as Detroit has been to mine."

"Your love is all we need to change a life. Thank you Lord for Your abundant love."

"I pray for great communities, strong families and places of love and safety."

"Every kid in this city has a place to come 'home'"

"Detroit is Your city and thank for reminding me it's my city too! When we work with you we can make a difference in a big problem. Help is to keep making a difference and help everyone living here to have hope and have your love and peace guide them."

"I pray that the joy I saw in the people of Detroit will be contagious; that it will spread throughout the neighborhoods and among the people, young and old. I pray they will have hope. Enough to take action to carry on the work I now have to leave. I pray for an army of joyful, hopeful people who are energized to recreate this beautiful city - and make it better than its ever been."

-------------
I want to thank each and every person who has been a part of Motown Mission this summer. Your work and love has made a tremendous difference in the lives of so many people. We all hunger for to be closer to one another, to something or someone that can anchor us in when the world seems to slip away. By participating in Motown Mission, you become that anchor for someone else, a beacon of light to the love of God. I can only hope that ministries like this will continue to grow and foster real relationships with God out of love and bravery through the abundant need of God's people.

Set Free

For so many people around the world the standard of living in the United States is an unobtainable goal. This shouldn't be too surprising, especially when we tend to think of starving children on the streets of Kenya, beggars lining the walkways of India, the shanty towns of Peru, and small fledgling villages in the heights of Katmandu, when we hear about folks who can't afford to be American. What tends not to cross most folks minds is that the standard of living of the United States is unobtainable in many places WITHIN the United States. All across the nation, in every city, there undoubtably exists a population that is beyond the brink. In the city of Detroit, this is true for so many, and the thing that always gets me is that it doesn’t have to be that way.

When banks foreclose most of your neighborhood, you are left with depreciating property value. As homes are foreclosed, the rate of crime, poverty, illness, poor nutrition, and death, increase. When banks refuse to lend to perfectly qualified folks in your neighborhood, you are left with an ever increasing rate of foreclosure and abandonment, and the cycle continues. That’s what I find so ridiculous about folks who believe that poverty, crime, and illness are endemic. For some people, that may be true, but to the vast majority of folks who find themselves left out, they are left with no choices. There are more than a few people I know of that have suggested that the best way to “solve” the poverty problem, in the United States, is to simply remove or “eradicate” all of the nation’s poor. This follows the same logic as some other folks who suggested that the best way to cure the AIDS epidemic was to round up all of the victims and separate them from the rest of society until they died off. This line of reasoning denies the possibility that there may, in fact, be something wrong with the way the problem is treated from the very beginning.

Most debates I have ever listened to, about who/what is right and who/what is wrong, ignore the one constant for all time; the past. I have friends who would say that many of the homeless I had worked with two years ago, were products of their own err. During that same time I had colleagues who were working with elementary aged kids in another part of the city. Several of their kids came from single parent homes, where their mother/father had abandoned them and whose remaining parent was a drug addict. The area is so poor that the existing school system is 20 years behind the one I was brought up in. The kids live off of a diet of highly processed food, with little to no fresh foods. Their parents are mostly out of work, so there is little money to buy much of anything as it is. One of the kids had become addicted to meth. He was 10 years old. When he grows up and walks into the office I used to work in and sits down with someone to talk about his needs, what would my friends say about him? Is he the product of his own err? Did he have a choice? 

The biggest conundrum that I think we will someday find ourselves in, is reconciling the benefits gained by some, through the losses of others. I may not be an active participant in what happened to that kid, but because I do nothing to stop it, and that I benefit from it, means that I passively accept it. Life inside the system is a life of either active or passive participation in other people’s oppression. Life outside of the system that so many American’s enjoy is a life of resistance. It is resisting the pressures to fail, the pressures to give up and quit. For far too many, there is no way of getting in. Once you’re out you’re out, even if that means you were born out. Every day is a struggle to see how you fit in the world. Every day is a test of your will to stay afloat. Every time you lose your job, or your kid’s school closes, it is a trail by fire. That is why every day that ministries like Motown Mission and JSCDC send people out to work, there is victory. Every day that someone is able to keep their home, who is on the brink, there is victory. Every time a neighbor mows the lawn in the vacant lot next door, or replaces a boarded window on a foreclosed home, there is victory. Every time the farmers market sells out of produce, there is victory. Every family that manages to stay together, there is victory. Every child that graduates high school, there is victory. And every time there is victory, the chains forced upon someone by the world around them are loosed, and every victory brings us all one step closer to being set free.

Gifts

Almost every night we do an evening worship session with our groups to give them a space to digest what they experienced during the day and relate those experiences to their faith. Tonight we asked the groups about gifts, and how their service relates. My coworker said something that I found to be very thought provoking. She said, “You guys have come here for a week and your experiences will last a week. But what you are doing, Ken will be living in that house for the next 3, 5, 10 years. The work you are doing in this week will be with him for a long time.” In other words, the actions that we carry out, the decisions we make, or even the gifts we give, may only last with us a short time, or in some memory. However, those same actions will continue to have an effect on someone else for a very long time. 

As I think about this revelation it reminds me of worship last night, where we talked about how God asks us to be a light and to do good. One of the questions we asked the youth was, why? Why does obeying that matter? Why should we do good things? If my coworker is right, it is because the effects of our actions last far longer than we may anticipate. God is asking us to act out of love because the choices we make will stick with others for a while and therefore the effects of our actions become magnified.

When folks come into the city and take pictures of all the abandoned buildings and then call them the “face” of Detroit, that has a lasting impact on the image of the city. When shows like Detroit 187 go on the air and claim to be the “real” Detroit, that has a lasting impact on the “safety” of the city. (By the way I know some folks who walked by one of the “murder” scenes from the show, all while being perfectly safe and enjoying their day in the real Detroit). When people talk about the “race riots” of the 60's and forget the race riots of the 40's, that has a lasting impact on the race relations in the city. 

When we go to work in the neighborhood and mow a few abandoned lots, that has a lasting impact on the safety of the neighborhood. When we are able to make a formerly unlivable house, livable again, that has a lasting impact on the quality of life in the neighborhood. When we till the land and successfully grow a crop of corn, that has a lasting impact on the hunger of the neighborhood. Because we do all of these things, instead of what so many other people do, we have a lasting impact on the faith of the neighborhood. It never ceases to amaze me when people see what our groups are doing and then come out and help. It also never ceases to amaze me, when I have a conversation with someone who stops by in the neighborhood and tells me that this work has restored their faith in God and what small acts of kindness are capable of doing.

We are to be lights in the world and do good, because a small act of kindness can go a long way, but so too can a small act of selfishness. That is why God is so good, because God allows us to minister to one another through love. Every group that comes in takes away the knowledge that they gave something of themselves, and that something will continue to grow and spread for a very long time.

New Beginning

This past week I was working with a group of high school students on a house that had been firebombed in February. The homeowner, Ken, had thought he had made a good investment for his daughter and himself when he bought that home, only to have it burn up on him. There are limitations to the work that we can do, mostly due to budget constraints. So for Ken we were told that we would be able to insulate his house, put up drywall, paint, and add some kitchen cabinets that were donated. The problem was that the entire house needed to be redone because it had been stripped after the fire. When groups arrived to work, the home was nothing more than a shell.

However, Ken had faith that his house would be reborn. Our first group put in all of the insulation, the drywall, and two exterior doors. Things were looking pretty good and, when we got our second group in at the beginning of the week, we were excited to get to work. As our group pulled up to the house, a different story was beginning to unfold. The doors were gone. As well as a bunch of tools and the kitchen sink. As Ken put it, "they took everything, including the kitchen sink." 

This is the hard part of this job, knowing that sometimes, no matter what your intentions, there will be someone who does not care, who chooses not to see the good in the neighborhood. (That same week, with that same group, a few young guys walked by and told the group that white people weren't welcome and their help wasn't needed.) It was tough watching Ken and his daughter pull up to the house, knowing that once again he was getting knocked down. Ken was noticeably upset by the situation but after a few moments by himself in prayer he was back to his old self, helping out and joking with the group.

A little later in the day Ken was able to find another door and that's when the good news started rolling in. JSCDC decided that Ken's house would be a perfect example house because it was a complete rebuild. That means that funds that were previously unavailable for the regular jobs were now open. Ken would be receiving an entirely redone home. 

That's the beautiful part of this job, knowing that, no matter what, God will care, God will see the good in the neighborhood and choose to do something about it. I'll be working on Ken's house more this coming week, trying to finish more of what we started, and I know Ken is grateful for a new beginning.

The Destruction of Ignorance

I had spent a lot of time struggling with my calling. Not in the sense that I didn’t want to be called by God, but in the sense that I wasn’t sure if I could reconcile the two very distinct lifestyles that I have grown up in. On one hand, my life has been surrounded by wealth, prosperity, and a kind and loving environment. On the other hand, my heart has grown to love those who are surrounded by poverty, despair, oppression, and a suffocating and subjugating environment. I had a difficult time seeing where I fit. I have always been inclined to follow my heart, because I believe that that is where God speaks to me the most clearly. So I grew to be agitated by the decisions and prosperity of the people and area I grew up with. Part of me knew that if I were to pursue a particular track in ministry it would lead me to be a leader to people that I increasingly could not identify with. However, my experiences in my education and in the work that I have pursued over the past couple of years has reconnected me with reality and restored my patience. The conflict still exists, but the feelings of frustration and anger are far less intimately connected with a particular income bracket and are now directed at specific situations and circumstances.
For example, the volunteers that come to us at Motown Mission are all unique but they all share a similar sense of the unknown. Many groups have had people drop out at the last minute out of fear of the city. The ones that do arrive do so for many reasons, but the struggle for me has been to recognize that each person who comes, comes bravely. I have learned to recognize that each individual has had different life experiences and many of those experiences have not been so blessed as mine. So I have grown to see my role in ministry as one that rights the wrongs of a life of privilege. So many people live in blissful ignorance of the struggles that surround them. For me that focus has been primarily on the struggles of the poor and oppressed, but I have learned, from my fiance, that that ignorance can extend to a great number of things, including the environment and rest of God’s creation.
At Motown Mission we focus on the “slow motion Katrina” that is the economic disaster that plagues the city of Detroit. Within that we try to show our volunteers that the people they are serving did not choose this. The city did not collectively decide to become one of the poorest in the nation. What many of the neighborhoods have collectively decided is to reclaim what is rightfully theirs. In my eyes the city is like any other oppressed group of people driven to the brink. It is taking what no one will give it. There are neighborhoods in the city that have decided that they are fed up with the current system that exists, because that system treats them like they don’t exist. So neighborhoods take charge. No grocer will move into the city to provide fresh fruits and vegetables, so the people grow their own. No bank will lend to give them money to buy a vacant house on their street, so the block maintains the yard to keep the crime down. So few people want to help out with the task of, literally, cleaning up the streets that the job becomes impossible to handle, so when people do come out to clean up, local businesses offer discounts and a helping hand. There is so little money available that people can't afford goods or services, so some local business owners will barter the skills that are available.
It is because of all of that that I have loved working for Motown Mission. This job has given me the opportunity, every week, to help right the great wrong of privilege. This job has given me the chance to open peoples eyes, to see the world a little differently, to walk away a little less afraid, and a little more angry for all the right reasons.

Instrument of Peace

Today is our last day in Poland. This means that it is also the day we will visit Auchwitz. When we departed this morning I could not have prepared myself. The shear amount of stuff that was stolen is incredible. I almost broke down in tears at the sight of the children's clothing, and the suitcases, many of which belonged to children younger than eight years old. Today was a day for mourning. I was unprepared to see the similarities between the holding/torture cells of the Holocaust and the slave trade out of Ghana. I was not expecting to see a crematorium or gas chamber and then walk through them. I could feel the emptiness in that place. I wondered how people felt walking in there and if they knew they were walking to their death. Chills ran through me.

As we made the switch to Birkenau, again I was shocked by the scale. So many barracks full of so many people. I was horrified to see the barracks for what they really were, stables. I was moved by Dr. Kellerman's question about where the Hungarian women were kept and then to see him looking out, knowing he has a connection there. I was almost brought to tears again while Dr. Kellerman prayed for his family and I cried when we all said Kaddish over the ash pits.
I am so grateful for this trip, for our work and for the new and deeper understanding I have of the Holocaust. I know that nothing will be able to compare to this experience. Going from where the Jewish community lived and worked, where their families were respectfully buried, to where they were senselessly murdered, was very difficult, but necessary. Those people have become my people, and I understand now that they very easily could be.

This trip has become my awakening and strengthening to change the world. I pray that God will keep my resolve strong as I go out and that I will never forget. As I share the story of this trip with my friends and family, I hope that they too will be changed and moved to make this world a better and safer place. I am thankful for all of my professors and guides on this trip. They have added meaning to the down time and have encouraged my growth, both as a student and as a spiritual being. I pray that God is with us all and using us all as active instruments of peace.

Hitting Home

Today was our first full day in Krakow. I decided to wake up early this morning and attend the service at the local synagogue. I have been to a few Jewish services before, growing up in West Bloomfield, but not an Orthodox synagogue. I, along with everyone else, was very confused for the first 30 or so minutes. After that however, things began to run more along the lines of other services. I was amazed by the apparent age of the building. Dr. Kellerman made the observation that services must have been conducted in this fashion, in this room, for a very, very long time. This religious community has roots which are unfathomably deep. The reading from the Torah and the prayer for the sick was beautiful, every word with perfect pitch and harmony. After the service we ran into a British man who pointed out the cemetery adjacent to the synagogue. He explained how many of the tombstones were destroyed by the Nazi's and used as roads and doorsteps.
As soon as we returned to the Hotel it was time to head out on our tour of Krakow. The tour was fantastic, it was refreshing, after our last tour, to have a tour guide that was very knowledgeable of Jewish life. When we went to dinner, I had some time to discuss the tour and its impact on me with Dr. Kellerman. I told him about my hometown and how a good number of my friends from when I was growing up, were Jewish. My hometown is actually a very strong Jewish population center. My neighbors to the left and right are Jewish and even though they are the second family to live in both since I've been there, those homes have always belonged to Jewish families. On every street there is at least one synagogue, then a church, then another synagogue. There are even multiple synagogues at some intersections. Dr. Kellerman said that the Jewish community in West Bloomfield is very similar to what the community in Wrocław would have looked like. That thought, combined with all of the history and culture that was pointed out on our tour, really brought the Holocaust home for me. Given the difference in time and country, that could have been my neighbors. The statistics have always been known to me, but never before have I been able to add a face, an emotion, a life to the atrocity.
I do not know how I will handle Auchwitz tomorrow. I pray for strength so that I am able to take it all in and not collapse from the immense weight of it all. When we go, I hope I am able to see these victims as my neighbors, my friends and my family, because that is very well what they may have been. I hope I find the courage to ensure that the horrors of the past are never visited upon my neighbors. Tonight I lit a candle after prayer at the church on the corner of the Rynek. It was for peace, in all of its meanings.

Special Assignment

Today was our last day in the cemetery. My goal was to push myself as much as possible to get through the big pile of debris still left to burn. As soon as I got started shoveling ash, one of the Polish caretakers came over and told me he wanted me doing something else. He led me to a large burial site. This was the tomb of the Joseph Bergmann family. He then instructed me to fill in the grave. Apparently this tomb was robbed and what was left was a giant hole where the coffin lay. I realized that in order to fill in this grave I had to stand on and remove soil from the family members. Along the way I kept hitting large stones, pieces of the ornate tomb. I wanted very badly to be able to piece them all back together, but quickly realized I had no idea how they all fit. So the best I could do was uncover them and place them on the edge of the burial site. I do not understand how even if you hated someone and thought of them as less than you, how you could still not respect the life that existed and the dead. Finding and removing beer bottles from inside the grave hurt me in a very profound way. I struggle still to understand the destruction, although I feel ready to heal. After finishing my work at that grave site I made my way to a new fire and started clearing as much as I could. I was grateful when we stopped to gather and Dan explained the importance of winding down and saying goodbye. When it came time, I took the photos I needed to take and then found a spot where I could look out at the cemetery and I prayed. I prayed that God would continue to use the destruction we create to help teach and heal. I prayed for this trip, for its mission in the hope that its meaning would extend beyond the walls of the cemetery and into the hearts of many passerby.
Tonight we arrived in Krakow. We got a brief tour from Matt and it seems as though there are a lot of interesting sites in the city. He was right, it is quite beautiful and the stay in a hotel on comfortable beds is a nice reprieve. For now I know I must prepare myself mentally for the end. The tour tomorrow will hopefully be interesting and I am sure that my time spent at Auchwitz will be challenging.
I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to have worked in the cemetery. I hope our work has meant something to both the living and the dead. To assure myself all I have to do is to think of Dr. Kellerman. In telling the story of his parents and relating their experiences to our purpose here, has been very moving and something I will never forget.

Ashes and The Breath of Life

Today the alumni group joined us for work. They have seen several Jewish cemeteries, as I understand it, but they have yet to do any work in one. That was interesting to see. I was back to my fire duty again. I enjoy that work and I take pride in the strength and efficiency with which it goes through debris. Before getting started my primary concern was to remove the ash pile from beneath the still burning brush. The ash pile was actually 2/3 of the total fire pile! People began bringing in cart loads of debris very quickly so there was quite the backup! As I began burning through it all, I noticed a light covering of ash around me. Ashes were landing on my head and shoulders as well. I became chilled as I thought of the movie Schindler's List. The scenes where human ashes fall from the sky kept running through my mind. I was reminded of the fires role in the destructive reality of the holocaust. However, here in this cemetery its power is not to destroy human dignity and memory, but to maintain it. That is the crucial difference between all things. It is not always what we generally do, but why we generally do it. The Nazi's burned to destroy and dehumanize. We are burning to respect and recover humanity. The evidence of what is left in both cases is the same; simple ash.
When we returned from work, we had a brief time to clean up before our second book discussion. This one focused on Elie Wiesel's Night. While reading that book I found it complicated to discern where Wiesel stands with God. I wrestled with the part about Akiba Drumer, the man who Wiesel says died because he lost his faith. If only he had kept it a few days longer. I now understand how Elie views God. He sees God in the same way as his father. Something he must desperately hold on to. He is conflicted, however, because he believes that if he lets his father go, life would be easier. Once his father dies, and upon the reflection of many years, Wiesel realizes that, upon his father's death, Wiesel himself becomes like a corpse, dead to the life around him. As much as he may like to let go of God, I think Wiesel realizes that, like Akiba Drumer, he too will perish without God. When asked why he prays, his response is, "why do I breath?" Prayer and a belief in God bring him life, and afford its continuance. I am curious now to see the play that Dr. Kellerman had talked about, where several Rabbis put God on trial. I think the connection between that play and Wiesel would be a good study in humanity's relationship with the divine.

The Pursuit and Reality

Today is our long day of work and I am hoping that we are able to make a serious impact on the ground on which we are working. Today, all of my energy was focused on a new fire that was built. It was my job to maintain the fire, keep it hot and burning through every wheelbarrow full of debris the group brought me. A consequence of this was several new holes in my shirt, from contact with flying embers, and a small burn on my right wrist. They should provide more fun for story telling than any actual cause for concern. Just as I was getting started with the fire, some of the girls uncovered another cobblestone path which cuts through the back portion of what we've been clearing! This is important because it was believed that all of the paths had already been cleared by previous years work. As they got to work uncovering the path, some other people began uncovering shallowly buried tombstones which had fallen over. The morning got off to a very good start.
I was amazed at the amount of material brought to the fire to be burned, and equally amazed at my team's ability to burn through it all. In fact, by the end of the day, we were burning faster than material could be brought in. I am inspired by the efforts of my classmates. They call out the names on the tombstones as they uncover them and I pray that God hears those names and that they are a blessing.
Tonight we met with the Alumni group for dinner. From the few that I talked to, it seems as though they are finding meaning in this trip. I know that it can be a struggle sometimes to feel as connected as you would like when there are clear examples of people around you who just aren't getting it. At the end of the day however, it is not the choices of others which will have the greatest impact on our experiences, it is how we choose to view each situation. It is for this reason that Mallory and I set out again to find the memorial to the old synagogue. On the way, Dr. McWhirter showed us the memorial to the Warsaw ghetto uprising, which is surprising to find in Wrocław. Although it took some time, we did find the old synagogue memorial. It is tucked away, positioned behind some unattractive residential or commercial building. Seeing the engraved image of what once was and seeing the reality around me, almost brought me to tears. Each day I feel as though the community that once was becomes more and more real, and that the weight of what was lost, or worse yet, stolen, becomes heavier and heavier.

The Search to Find what was once Lost

Today is our second day of working in the cemetery. The clearing we have made is pretty impressive for spending so few hours (today was a three hour day). I got to work cutting out larger plants with the hatchet and also got to teach a few of my peers how to properly swing one. I was amazed, and still am, by the persistent determination of everyone on the trip. Samantha managed to dig out a tree stump, practically on her own. Mallory and Chelsea managed to find and then assemble the broken face of one of the tombstones, and subsequently discovered a new person with a full name and birth and death dates. Having cleared the area I was working on, I decided to help clear brush and carry it to the nearest fire. Already I see the enormous amount of brush we've cleared, something which is sure to increase. After our work, we headed back to the Hostel to quickly freshen up, and the set out on our tour of Wrocław. I am very grateful for the chance to go on the tour as I am a big history/museum fan. It was incredibly heart breaking to see so many beautiful churches in Wrocław and no synagogues, and then know the reason why.
There is a lot on the tour that I hope to be able to revisit, but I doubt I'll have time for all of it on this trip. Maybe I was expecting there to be more recognition of the old Jewish population than there really is, but I feel as though our tour guide both left out a lot of information about Jewish life and had to be prompted for the information we did get. I know for a fact that he left out the memorial for the synagogue that burned down during the Krystal Nact. After meeting with the Hope Hatikvah group, Mallory and I decided we would try to find the memorial. The meeting with Hope Hatikvah was interesting, but the conversation regarding the connection between our two groups was short lived, at least where I was sitting. The conversation was more about learning Polish and American culture.
Our search for the monument was unsuccessful. Eventually we decided we should head back and get ready for bed. Today has been incredibly busy and the rest will be welcomed. Tomorrow is our long work day, one which I look forward to. A part of me still wonders how different this city, this community would be without the Holocaust, without the senseless death of so many.

A little Change

Today got off to a very chilly and wet start. Today was our first day in the cemetery, and today was our first book discussion. After some delay in getting into the cemetery, we got an impressive tour from the man who runs the whole operation. After our hour long tour, we got to work clearing a section of the cemetery. Some pulled weeds and cleared brush, others carted that plant matter to the awaiting fires, and other carefully maintained the fires. My duty was the first. While I was raking up dead leaves behind a particularly stubborn log, Drew came over and stated that he thought he'd try raking as he hadn't done that yet. I quickly, sarcastically, remarked "Oh, you'll love it! It'll change your world!" His response took me a moment to process. He replied, "That's what I'm hoping." It was that simple response that I found so profound. Simple and honest, it revealed truths to me I found embarrassing not to have thought before. That reply should have been obvious to me, especially after what we learned on the tour. As it turns out the efforts that have been carried out through this mission have attracted a lot of attention, and, consequently, brought a lot of people closer to their long lost loved ones. The man who primarily runs the cemetery gave us our extensive tour because he now had a few personal stories of people coming to the cemetery and finding their family member's formally buried grave.
He also told us that the work being done here has attracted the attention of the Polish government and the EU, and they are now looking into funding, at least some of the restoration, partially due to the UEFA EURO championship being held in Poland in 2012. It is incredible to be a part of a simple mission that has become such a large movement. To know that I will have played a part, small as it may be, in something so phenomenally powerful, but more importantly good, is something I have yet to completely grasp. With this new found realization, I immediately got back to work!
It was revealed to our group that we may in fact work beyond noon, for more than a total of three hours. I was elated with this, as I knew that our potential level of accomplishment would increase dramatically. Today, however, we did not end up working much past noon on account of constant and heavy rain. When we got back to the Hostel we had a short clean-up break and then gathered to discuss J.T. Gross's Neighbors. Our discussion was very interesting and it seemed as though everyone had something insightful to say. It left me thinking about the human tragedy that occurred in that book, how someone can be driven to kill another so viciously. It also left me thinking of solutions. Tomorrow will be another day of work, probably harder than today, but I will gladly settle for raking, because it is my hope to change to world.

Unfair and Unjust

Since I heard about, and was accepted into the Holocaust Service Learning Project, I have anxiously awaited this trip. I say anxious because my emotions were both excited and nervous. I was excited for the opportunity to be a part of something larger than myself and I was nervous about how the reality of it all would affect me. When I finally got here my mind had some catching up to do, as overnight flights tend to be somewhat draining. As I was walking back from the Rynek, Mallory said something that jump started my mind. She said she felt strange walking where thousands of people should have walked and where countless more may have existed and lived out their lives. She mentioned how unfair it seemed that she would be able to be there, and they not. She wondered how she should be feeling about all of that. This got me thinking about the enormity of the tragedy that happened around us. I'm sure that will be more fully fleshed out as the week continues. She brings an interesting perspective. As I continued walking I could picture people on their way to a kosher market, or walking to/from synagogue. I can imagine a thriving Jewish population, plenty of people living out their faith, living their lives, and all having precious worth. However, the reality is clear. There remain only several hundred Jews here now, and they are a declining demographic. That reality hits me hard. To answer Mallory's question; I think that, at the present time, in the big picture; no, it is not fair. However, the individual can wield a great deal of power in the long run. While the fact that there are countless fewer lives on this earth because of the Holocaust is in no way fair or just, there is hope for tomorrow. I am surrounded by a group of people who are not only willing to listen and learn, but also reflect on themselves, and do their part to make the world a better place. Because of them, countless lives may be saved.

Coming Soon

I'm sorry I've been out for some time now, things have been extremely busy. This past summer I was living in Detroit and working as an Intern for Crossroads and Young Leaders Initiative. That experience has led me to fall in love with Detroit. There's a lot of work to be done in that city, but it's full of hard working, good people. I will be leaving for Poland on the 9th, a service trip through my college that seeks to reconcile the horrors of the Holocaust by keeping the memories of families murdered, during the Holocaust, alive. We will be working in a Jewish cemetery, clearing the brush and rectifying lost gravestones. This is important because the preservation and dignity of the body is very important to Jewish tradition. Since the relatives of those graves we will be working with have all been killed, no one who would normally care for the graves exists. To honor those murdered in the Holocaust we will carry out the task of maintaining that hallowed ground in their stead. I will set a link to the blog for that trip as soon as I can, and hopefully I will be able to maintain my own thoughts here. I will return from Europe on the 28th, and hopefully move in to Detroit shortly after. Stay tuned.