Ashes and The Breath of Life

Today the alumni group joined us for work. They have seen several Jewish cemeteries, as I understand it, but they have yet to do any work in one. That was interesting to see. I was back to my fire duty again. I enjoy that work and I take pride in the strength and efficiency with which it goes through debris. Before getting started my primary concern was to remove the ash pile from beneath the still burning brush. The ash pile was actually 2/3 of the total fire pile! People began bringing in cart loads of debris very quickly so there was quite the backup! As I began burning through it all, I noticed a light covering of ash around me. Ashes were landing on my head and shoulders as well. I became chilled as I thought of the movie Schindler's List. The scenes where human ashes fall from the sky kept running through my mind. I was reminded of the fires role in the destructive reality of the holocaust. However, here in this cemetery its power is not to destroy human dignity and memory, but to maintain it. That is the crucial difference between all things. It is not always what we generally do, but why we generally do it. The Nazi's burned to destroy and dehumanize. We are burning to respect and recover humanity. The evidence of what is left in both cases is the same; simple ash.
When we returned from work, we had a brief time to clean up before our second book discussion. This one focused on Elie Wiesel's Night. While reading that book I found it complicated to discern where Wiesel stands with God. I wrestled with the part about Akiba Drumer, the man who Wiesel says died because he lost his faith. If only he had kept it a few days longer. I now understand how Elie views God. He sees God in the same way as his father. Something he must desperately hold on to. He is conflicted, however, because he believes that if he lets his father go, life would be easier. Once his father dies, and upon the reflection of many years, Wiesel realizes that, upon his father's death, Wiesel himself becomes like a corpse, dead to the life around him. As much as he may like to let go of God, I think Wiesel realizes that, like Akiba Drumer, he too will perish without God. When asked why he prays, his response is, "why do I breath?" Prayer and a belief in God bring him life, and afford its continuance. I am curious now to see the play that Dr. Kellerman had talked about, where several Rabbis put God on trial. I think the connection between that play and Wiesel would be a good study in humanity's relationship with the divine.

The Pursuit and Reality

Today is our long day of work and I am hoping that we are able to make a serious impact on the ground on which we are working. Today, all of my energy was focused on a new fire that was built. It was my job to maintain the fire, keep it hot and burning through every wheelbarrow full of debris the group brought me. A consequence of this was several new holes in my shirt, from contact with flying embers, and a small burn on my right wrist. They should provide more fun for story telling than any actual cause for concern. Just as I was getting started with the fire, some of the girls uncovered another cobblestone path which cuts through the back portion of what we've been clearing! This is important because it was believed that all of the paths had already been cleared by previous years work. As they got to work uncovering the path, some other people began uncovering shallowly buried tombstones which had fallen over. The morning got off to a very good start.
I was amazed at the amount of material brought to the fire to be burned, and equally amazed at my team's ability to burn through it all. In fact, by the end of the day, we were burning faster than material could be brought in. I am inspired by the efforts of my classmates. They call out the names on the tombstones as they uncover them and I pray that God hears those names and that they are a blessing.
Tonight we met with the Alumni group for dinner. From the few that I talked to, it seems as though they are finding meaning in this trip. I know that it can be a struggle sometimes to feel as connected as you would like when there are clear examples of people around you who just aren't getting it. At the end of the day however, it is not the choices of others which will have the greatest impact on our experiences, it is how we choose to view each situation. It is for this reason that Mallory and I set out again to find the memorial to the old synagogue. On the way, Dr. McWhirter showed us the memorial to the Warsaw ghetto uprising, which is surprising to find in Wrocław. Although it took some time, we did find the old synagogue memorial. It is tucked away, positioned behind some unattractive residential or commercial building. Seeing the engraved image of what once was and seeing the reality around me, almost brought me to tears. Each day I feel as though the community that once was becomes more and more real, and that the weight of what was lost, or worse yet, stolen, becomes heavier and heavier.

The Search to Find what was once Lost

Today is our second day of working in the cemetery. The clearing we have made is pretty impressive for spending so few hours (today was a three hour day). I got to work cutting out larger plants with the hatchet and also got to teach a few of my peers how to properly swing one. I was amazed, and still am, by the persistent determination of everyone on the trip. Samantha managed to dig out a tree stump, practically on her own. Mallory and Chelsea managed to find and then assemble the broken face of one of the tombstones, and subsequently discovered a new person with a full name and birth and death dates. Having cleared the area I was working on, I decided to help clear brush and carry it to the nearest fire. Already I see the enormous amount of brush we've cleared, something which is sure to increase. After our work, we headed back to the Hostel to quickly freshen up, and the set out on our tour of Wrocław. I am very grateful for the chance to go on the tour as I am a big history/museum fan. It was incredibly heart breaking to see so many beautiful churches in Wrocław and no synagogues, and then know the reason why.
There is a lot on the tour that I hope to be able to revisit, but I doubt I'll have time for all of it on this trip. Maybe I was expecting there to be more recognition of the old Jewish population than there really is, but I feel as though our tour guide both left out a lot of information about Jewish life and had to be prompted for the information we did get. I know for a fact that he left out the memorial for the synagogue that burned down during the Krystal Nact. After meeting with the Hope Hatikvah group, Mallory and I decided we would try to find the memorial. The meeting with Hope Hatikvah was interesting, but the conversation regarding the connection between our two groups was short lived, at least where I was sitting. The conversation was more about learning Polish and American culture.
Our search for the monument was unsuccessful. Eventually we decided we should head back and get ready for bed. Today has been incredibly busy and the rest will be welcomed. Tomorrow is our long work day, one which I look forward to. A part of me still wonders how different this city, this community would be without the Holocaust, without the senseless death of so many.